ALL ABOUT-STORY& DISCLAIMERS
Updated: Feb 15
This here is a Pussy blog. Why write a Pussy blog, you ask?
Well, ask my Pussy, she really made me do it, and believe you me, she didn’t want to hear any arguments, any excuses, she just wanted to go online, have her presence on the inter webs. At this point just please believe me: She IS bigger than me. Any resistance is futile against her, the longer I resist, the bigger the doom she brings upon me will be.
Don’t get me wrong, She is also totally amazing and majestic and beautiful and powerful, and all the good stuff. I love her deeply. The blog is dedicated to all that my Pussy is, the beautiful and the terrible.
So let's get some stuff out of the way before we enter.(ehm)
photo by harveyrabbitphoto
0. SOME OF THE WRITING LOOKS LIKE I COMPLAIN, WHICH I MIGHT DO, BUT ONLY TO TALK MYSELF OUT OF IT AND END ON A DISGUSTINGLY OPTIMISTIC NOTE. BEAR WITH ME.
1. I TALK A LOT ABOUT ENERGY, AND SPIRITUAL STUFF THAT MANY PEOPLE CONSIDER NONSENSE, FOR ME AND MY PUSSY OTHER DIMENSIONS ARE VERY IMPORTANT, SO SUCK IT. THERE WILL BE MOON PHASES, AND ASTROLOGY AND ALL KINDS OF ESOTERIC STUFF, WHAT ABOUT IT.
2. I AM OPENLY NOT ASHAMED OF TERRIFYING BODILY FUNCTIONS, THERE WILL BE SOOOOO MUCH BODILY FLUIDS IN RICH DETAIL, GET READY! PERIODFARTS, PERIODFARTS,PERIODFARTS. HERE, YOU CAN’T UNREAD IT.
3.ON ONE HAND I DEEPLY APPRECIATE THE FACT THAT THERE ARE AT ALL PUSSY RELATED INTERNET SITES, AND INFORMATION. HOWEVER, THEY ALL SEEM TO BE VERY PINK, AND FLOWERY, AND WRITE MOSTLY ABOUT WOMEN AND FEMININE ENERGY. FOR ONE, NOT ONLY WOMEN HAVE PUSSIES, PERIODS, UTERI. SECOND ,NOT ALL WOMEN CARRY THE EXPRESSION OF FEMININE ENERGY. WHATEVER THAT MEANS, BTW. IT IS FOR SURE NOT ALL FLOWER PETALS AND BREEZE. I LOVE PINK, AND FLOWERS, AND MY PUSSY DOES TOO, BUT I DON'T FEEL REPRESENTED.I HAVE SOME OTHER COLORS, AND QUITE SOME DOOM IN PLACE AS WELL. I NEED A DARK CORNER ON THE WEB JUST FOR ME AND MY JUNK.
4. I WRITE THIS BLOG FROM MY PERSPECTIVE AND EXPERIENCE. WHEN I SAY ‘ALL ABOUT’ I MEAN THAT TINY LITTLE AMOUNT OF INFORMATION THAT I HAVE. I ALSO WRITE THIS BLOG AS A CIS- WOMAN. I DO MY BEST THOUGH TO USE GENDER NON SPECIFIC LANGUAGE WHEN I RANT ABOUT MORE GENERAL TOPICS SURROUNDING GENITALIA. I REFER TO MY PUSSY AND OTHER PARTS AS SHE. THAT IS THE WAY I PREFER.
5. I AM VERY DEEPLY IN TOUCH WITH MY EMOTIONS.I WAS DESPERATE AND VERY SAD FOR A LONG TIME IN MY LIFE.THUS HAVE READ A LOT OF BOOKS ABOUT PSYCHOLOGY, DID THERAPY, AND MEDITATED THE SHIT OUT OF MY CHAKRAS. EXPECT EXPRESSIONS OF A RICH EMOTIONAL LIFE BACKED UP BY SOME ACTUAL KNOWLEDGE ABOUT TRAUMA AND HEALING AND STUFF. ALSO THIS WHOLE THING IS BEYOND PERSONAL, BEING PERSONAL IS THE POINT OF IT.
6. NAMING THINGS ON THEIR RIGHT NAME. I AM AWARE THAT THE VAGINA IS ONLY THE INTERNAL CANAL. I AM ALSO AWARE THAT IT IS A POWERFUL WORD, SO IF YOU CRAVE ATTENTION ON THE INTERNET, I DO BELIEVE THIS THE WORD TO USE. I DISLIKE VULVA, FOR THE EXTERNAL PARTS, IT SOUNDS LIKE A CAR. FOR SOME REASON I CAN NOT AGREE WITH YONI, SO FOR MOST I USE THE WORD PUSSY.
7. MY SENSE OF HUMOR IS REPORTEDLY NOT FOR EVERYONE. SOME DON’T EVEN CALL IT HUMOR. BUT IT IS ON MY TERMS AND IT WILL BE PRESENT. GET READY FOR SOME CHEAP JOKES AND A BIT OF BITTER CYNICISM, THAT I DON’T EVEN MEAN.
8.WHOEVER YOU ARE , AND WHATEVER REASON YOU READ THIS BLOG FOR, YOU ARE WELCOME. BUT PLEASE KNOW THAT YOU WILL METAPHORICALLY ENTER MY PUSSY, AND A PART OF MY SOUL, AND I WANT TO BE RESPECTED. THE TITLE SAYS IT ALL, IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT, DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND F OFF FROM HERE.
9. I OVERUSE GIFS. THEY ARE FUN.
All righty then, you perverts.
So, here is the story of the birth of this blog.
I had my menstruation. (All good stories of my life starts with this sentence by the way.)It was epic. There will be a lot of menstruation stories further down the line, for now it is enough to say: I don’t have it easy. The pain is one thing, it is all over my body, in my tits, in my uterus, in my stomach, lower back, legs, sometimes in my head as well.
The total brain fog is another thing: I am taken out for a week, very much like I just dropped acid, and the trip just doesn’t end. The smells, the visual information, people’s energy around me are super strong. So If I do leave the house, I will be overwhelmed , and have to go back to the safety of my room, and lie down for a few hours, to recover from the sensory overload. I did have people over in my house, meanwhile I was bleeding, back in the days, but they gave me a headache after a short period (hahahah, got it?) of time, and only sleep could fix that.
I learned how to use this state of mind for meditation and spiritual endeavours, but I am still only learning how to gracefully disengage from a world outside that favors productivity, and functionality over everything else.
Unfortunately, I have it in every 20 or 21 days, and sometimes my PMS hijacks a whole week, that means I have 2 good weeks just to be a normal person. And do all the stuff I meant to do to have enough money and realise all my artistic projects. I am a week away as I write this, and there is already tension in my breasts, and a shadow of cramping in my pelvis.
(This was the first section of complaining. You can even have sympathy with me. We will soon get to the howling to the moon part.)
Anyway, let’s get to the epic story of the one Blog- Triggering -Terror -Period!
So I woke up to cramps and sadness, and tears and blood. Nothing unusual so far.
I went to the toilet, with a sure knowledge that something quite terrible will happen. I sat down to take my morning poo, and there it was in the from of diarrhea with the first splash of blood, meanwhile I was also puking white foam in the front of the toilet.
The ordeal also featured trembling, crying, hot body and cold sweat. After this, I cleaned up the puke, dripping blood everywhere from the other end, so I cleaned up that too. Then I proceeded to go back to my room, wondering If I make it at all, then I tried to lie down on my bed. But that was also too painful so I started to scream,shivering and sweating, for help, in my empty room, alone in the apartment. Waiting for some healing magic to happen. It didn’t. I hoped to exit my body. I didn’t. Then I managed to stay quiet for a while , and as my uterus was pulsating in pain I had this one thought on a loop:
IT IS GOING TO KILL ME , IT IS GOING TO KILL ME , IT IS GOING TO KILL ME.
It didn’t kill me, luckily. I had moderate pain for the next few days, then a New Moon came, and I found myself being very tender, and struggling with the thought, that I have nothing to offer to the world, I am an utterly worthless human, I am going to die lonely and in poverty, and the pain will never go away. The day after I had a very strong headache, that completely immobilised me, meanwhile the last drops of blood dripped away.
And then I understood, that underneath my more visible layers, this feeling of worthlessness and fear was there all along, stored in my pussy muscles, stored in my uterine walls. Part of those feelings are conditioned, part of them I picked up by growing up in Hungary as a weird woman, part of it is deep ancestral trauma stored in my DNA. That pain is my disowned power, that pain is my not asking for what I deserve, that pain is my being quiet when I want to speak up or even scream, that pain is my staying put, when I know it is time to move. Or moving when I need to rest.
Part of it is staying a victim, instead of owning my crazy creativity and love, my strength and my reportedly "too loud" voice
And so, I am taking back what is mine. With love,patience and with compassion, I will heal that pain, live life following my own rhythm.
On the other side of my cramps my amazing, invincible, vicious yet also really tender and kind SuperCunt persona awaits.
In the name of all of the above, I want to write this blog.
Or She wants me to.
The bigger the pain, the bigger the Catharsis. Or the desire for one.
Either way, welcome to my Pussy Blog.