• pina brutal


Updated: Nov 30, 2020

I can't remember exactly when I got absolutely maniac about the cycles of the Moon.

I think it was 2016, that I started to feel a lot of pressure around the full moons, till the beams of a very intense Scorpio Moon hit the planet and thus my tender insomniac body.

I couldn't sleep all night, my whole body was trembling and shaking and shivering, I had random sad memories hitting my brain, paired with overwhelming emotions of sadness, grief, anger, regret, all of it.

After that night the shaking stayed with me, to this day I shake, not that intensely, but it isn't something I have control over in any way.

According to my research, it is a very normal trauma response:

"Shaking or trembling, which comes from the limbic brain (the part of the brain that holds emotions), sends a signal that the danger has passed and that the fight-or-flight system can turn off. They are literally finishing the nervous system response to release the traumatic experience from the body."

There is even a thing called Trembling Therapy, which uses this principle. However if you were living under constant stress, the body can never truly release. In my case a cosmic force came, and triggered my nervous system and body to let go.

This shaking started a strong process of release, and a form of spiritual awakening, which in my case expressed itself in reading astrology and getting in touch with the cosmic forces, which have led to panic attacks and encountering a demonic spirit. But more of that later.

After that Full Moon, I started to connect and try to synchronize my period cycle with Mama Luna. There are methods to do that, but unfortunately, it is difficult in the city, because of all the artificial lights, added stress, and input, so the Uterus can not follow her rhythm naturally. To this day I oscillate between the New Moon and Full Moon, but I learned which phase to use for releasing things from my life and which phase to use to attract, and I use my menstruation to enhance my process.

And yes, you have guessed right, I did the whole menstrual blood art, and yes, I use it for ritual, and yes, I collect it in a jar, and yes, I make flying ointment out of it, and yes, I turn into a Werewolf after applying it, and yes, I fly as a Werewolf. And yes, I do sprinkle menstrual blood on the Night City. It IS ALL TRUE.

It's called being a modern woman.

As my spiritual practice grew, The Moon very much became the center of it, I am aware of which phase she is in, which astrological sign the next lunation will be in, and I can clearly see how certain events in my life line up with the phases.

My Moon rituals often involve my blood, and some of them are scarily transformational, but no matter how much I do I don't seem to be able to align myself fully. According to the all-knowing Oracle of Google, people that tend to menstruate on a New Moon are being called to go inwards, do self-love practices, listen to their inner world for messages. People who bleed on The Full Moon are called more to express outwardly and change the world through their vagina.

Obviously, it's not just google, many books mention this as well, but it seems to me that the info is varying a lot, and thus a bit unreliable. Science might doesn't have the answer either, as the female body and its nature are not the most well-founded area, not to mention the whole Moon thing might be dismissed as utter hocus pocus.

So, the answer remains to me: I keep on observing the Moon, my spiritual development, and thus forge a deeper connection to my own body and the forces around me. All of this in the hope, that my beloved Womb heals herself, and I can bleed not only pain-free but in an orgasmic way, meanwhile I howl on the moon, my body is dirty and the forces I have summoned are actively destroying the white capitalist patriarchy.

Recent Posts

See All