• pina brutal



What is love?

The age-old question, to which the answer since the dawn of time (or '90s)is: Baby don't hurt me, no more!

But seriously, what is love?

Since this is a pussy blog, let's ask her, shall we?

"Love is the very core of your being, the one force that keeps you trying when things seemingly fall apart. The intelligence of life itself that precisely and mercilessly leads you through your bullshit and shows you how to heal. It is the warm glue that keeps reality together.

A very well cooked meal is edible love.

Herbal tee, baklava, sextoys. All love.

Beautiful art. Most definitely love.

When you cry watching Titanic, because you are on your period, but also because it was 3 hours of your life that you never get back. Miserable, yet it is love.

The touch of a lover. The hug of a friend.

Is it in the air? Most likely.

Is it in our glittery hearts and souls? Definitely.

So what is it?

Baby don't hurt me, no more!"

Huh, channeled it directly.

The way I experience it my pussy is the portal where love can enter me the most directly. I am not even talking about sexual love here. Let me explain my pussy portal.

When I was 23, I had a period that lasted for a month.

It was caused by a cyst on my left ovary.

I was bleeding and bleeding. It was terrifying, yet it felt liberating. Old blood left my body, and with it, the darkness of the past opened.

My heart, the poor bastard bled right alongside my pussy.

Throughout that whole month, I was releasing and crying every day. It was uncontrollable, happened on the streets, in a few restaurants and cafes, I could never guess what will trigger it next.

I was crying over my dead father, over Hungary, the people that let me down, and all the sadness and death that I had to witness when I was young. The broken-heartedness caused by men, that didn't give the slightest fuck about me. The poverty that surrounded me, the addiction, the mental illness. The hopelessness, the depression.

Those things left me frozen and heavy. The blood was key to melt up these unattended parts of my soul.

Oh, it felt so cathartic, like a floodgate just opened, and I didn't have to hold anymore what was behind it.

And thus, my pussy and heart returned from the coma they were in for a long time. They operate together since then.

This incident triggered a very long and difficult healing journey, that lasts to this day.

On the way I met people, that should have never touched me, I had to experience abuse and abandonment. I lacked boundaries, and purposefully put myself in situations where I knew I only gonna get hurt.

For a long time, I didn't want to be a woman, because it felt like a way too painful journey.

I disconnected from my sexuality several times, and I lost faith in love.

Till I understood, that love really is everywhere and is available to me through friendships, art, creation. I found my community, and my soul family, that I am so thankful for. I did crazy art with like-minded people and grew in a way, I didn't think was possible. I learned to let in the support, the cuddles, the help, that people offered me. I regained my faith in love.

We are so accustomed to waiting for romantic fulfillment from a partner, that we forget to put our full-blown heart engagement into everything that we do in our everyday life. Into all our connections.

There is a way to connect to life, that is deeply erotic, loving, electric engagement, that runs through heart and genitalia, and that makes a human pulse with sheer aliveness.

I found that the more I engage with my pussy in a loving, non-pushy way, the more I am able to engage with life with openness, and curiosity.

She is the key to my healing.

I hold her, I love her, I nourish her.

I keep that Pussy-Heart-Love-Portal open.

It comes with many tears, sadness, but also with pleasure and much healing.



Eat it, bitches.

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